o/~ It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine o/~
2003-01-06 - 8:04 p.m.

First day back at school after winter break. I got there early. The halls were still empty. It looked very clean, like the floors had just been washed. And quiet. Then the headmaster and assistant headmaster walked by together and said hi at almost the exact same time. And I almost laughed out loud. Because...it's Monday. and I was running on 3 hours of sleep. And walking down the clean hallway.

None of that will make any sense to anybody. But it makes sense to me. I was just...amused.

heehee...can't you see?! Change is occuring. And not just because it's a New Year.

Another thing. New Year's resolutions. I usually just...don't think about them. New Years usually means little or nothing to me. It's just another calendar change. I write up my little "year in review", and think a bit on the year past, then that's it...it's not that I'm not reflective (and overly nostalgic and past-dwelling at times), it's just...events mark things ending and beginning far better than days. For me, things just change...whenever they need change. And things are changing...a lot. and fast. Don't get me wrong.

o/~ It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine o/~

But...Want. I want to do my RCM job properly again... open the library every day and turn on the computers and lay out the newspapers like I used to. Like I used to do with Brian and Ian...then eventually with Burgess, and now that everyone's left I'd be doing it alone but that's no excuse for me not to be doing it regularly. I want to go to that wonderful thing called yoga class that used to be almost our little secret of Wednesday afternoons, in the dark basement in the belly of the school. I want to spend hours in the living room with Mer and Shelby, making up ridiculous doumbek and piano arrangements of "Heart And Soul"...I want to dance to GBS with them and eat swirly ice cream. I want to go to New York. I want to see Gordondon and Gella, and someday I want to meet Jason and I want to eat sushi. I want to finish building that teleporter with Ian. Then I want to teleport sushi. This is getting out of hand. I have to stop.

Don't you understand...there is so much. There is SO MUCH.

I'm not dwelling on the past. That's not the past. That's the future, and now. I can't explain it. Who cares? SO MUCH!

I am SO HAPPY. Nobody could possibly have any idea.

I have some other things to talk about but I'll save them till tomorrow. Science project. And English exam I got back. yeah.

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